|
In
Search of the Spirit
A
monthly letter from the Glenmary Vocation Office
|
|
|
May
2003
What
Is God's Will For Me?
By
Father Steve Pawelk
What
is God’s will for me?
This
is the simple and burning question every Christian needs
to ask. It is also the most daunting question one faces
in the midst of any discernment process.
We
hope for some clear message, some sign. We long for
a letter in the mail that says, “Dear Steve, Be
a priest. Thanks, GOD. Or a billboard: “Jose, Be
a Glenmary Brother NOW!”
Yet
it does not happen that way—at least not in my
experience. Discernment, finding God’s will, is
normally a long and slow process.
Last
month I faced this question in a very personal way.
I was one of six men nominated for vice-president of
Glenmary. In a religious community, electing leadership
is not simply a matter of casting ballots. It is an
exercise in discernment. For me, the questions were:
What is God’s will for me? Does God wish me to
continue to serve as vocation director? Or does God
wish me to take on this new responsibility?
The
method for my discernment required the following: additional
prayer time, deeper reading of the Bible, talking with
friends, intense meetings with my spiritual director
and deep listening to my inner voice. This is the part
I was responsible for, yet it was not the whole picture.
The
other part involved placing myself before the community
of Glenmary priests and brothers for their input and
questioning. The process Glenmary uses for election
required me to share my hopes, my vision and also my
personal strengths and weaknesses. This meant being
very vulnerable and honest about myself before people
I was going to see over and over again in my life: my
religious family, my brothers in Glenmary.
In
all of this, what I thought was best or my personal
preference was secondary. It was part of the input,
of course. But through this process the goal was to
be open to the will of God; to willingly place myself
at the Lord’s service; and, finally, to trust the
judgment of others about my future work. The community,
in the end, would reveal God’s will in my life.
I
hope the process that I engaged in can provide a helpful
model of discernment for you. Many of you are specifically
and intensively seeking God’s will, especially
as it relates to a possible religious vocation as a
priest or a brother. Others are discerning between marriage
and priesthood. Still others are discerning between
missionary life and diocesan service. And there are
still others discerning things unknown to me or not
listed above. Regardless of what you are discerning,
God is always the guide. He works through the ordinary
events of life—through our prayers, through our
relationships with others, through our gifts and our
limitations.
Our
challenge is to be open and to trust not only our own
judgments, but the judgment of those close to us. By
learning to discern well, no matter the issue, we will
experience joy in our life and confidence in our life’s
direction.
I
was not chosen to be vice-president of Glenmary. I am
happy—and relieved. Why? Because I have a deep
inner sense of peace that God’s will was done—for
me and for Glenmary. The men selected to be our new
council—Father Dan Dorsey as president, Father
Bob Poandl as first vice president and Father Dominic
Duggins as second vice president—came to office
through the discernment process of the community I described
above. In this human way, the community has expressed
God’s will for Glenmary and these men for this
moment in time.
At
the end of any successful discernment process, we may
not always have the answer we would have predicted or
even hoped for. But if we have truly opened ourselves
to the Spirit, we will discover a deep, inner peace.
That peace is a sign that we have discerned well.
May
you discern well and find the peace of Christ.
